Thursday, December 2, 2010

Terrorist on the Shelf

Bianca has been a bit of a bear this week.  I'm not sure if she's having trouble acclimating back to school after a long weekend at home.  Or it could just be that she's over tired from a couple bouts with nightmares that left her without adequate sleep.  Add to that a night of Gramma babysitting when you know Bianca negotiates her way into a later bed time..... I have an ornery girl right now.  She's been getting into some minor trouble at school. 

A friend of mine suggested this may be a good time to introduce Elf on the Shelf.  I know I've heard it mentioned before but never really knew exactly how it worked.  Here's the dilly: the little dude works for
Santa and keeps an eye on the kids then reports back to the North Pole every night.  He then comes back to your house and the kiddies find him in a different spot than the night before.  I guess sometimes he brings little gifts, notes or causes mischief.  Cute idea.  Have you seen this doll though?  He's a little creepy......... 
Bianca can be freaked out by baby dolls. She HATES her cabbage patch and constantly covers its face with a blanket. Then turns it upside down and smothers it. (this is one of many, MANY reasons I don't dare have another child)  So I'm not entirely sure how she will feel about this disturbing little imp coming to life each night and running amok in our house.

I was talking to another friend this morning, a Mom of three.  I asked her "Do you guys do Elf on the Shelf?"


And then she whispers "We tried it two years ago.  Dear God, don't you remember this?"

Well, I don't really remember what color my car is most days so no, I'm sorry I don't remember what happened two years ago.  I know as a good friend, I should.  But I also know, as a mom of three, she understands I have no brain cells left so she forgives me.

She proceeds to tell the story and starts out in a tone fitting of a horrific ghost story.  "It was the Christmas of '08.  We thought it would be a cute tradition to start.  That's what....we.....thought........" ~pausing as memories of elf horror flood over her~  "Oldest thought it was great.  Middle and Baby....they didn't sleep for D.A.Y.S.  Middle spent four days like this: 

"She spent every night buried under her covers, every day creeping around the house like a covert agent, stealthing from room to room so as not to see, or be seen by, Elfie.  She would screech like a howler monkey upon glimpsing anything red.  Husband, who is usually such a great Dad......" ~trails off in disbelief of husband's evil, torturous side~ "....would hide Elfie in Middle's hamper or bath towel or put him right outside the door of whatever room she'd just gone into.  Oh, the screams.  The screams.  Thank GOD for the flu.  Do you remember it was a really bad flu season that year?"

I didn't even remember that my dear friend was terrorized by an elf.  Do you think I remember how the flu season was in '08?  But, not wanting to seem like (more of) a complete moron, I go "yeah, that was bad that year." 

"Well, thank God because we ended up leaving a note from Santa that he knew our kids were being good so Elfie was reassigned to a family with questionable children whose Elf had come down with the flu.  It took a few days for everything to return to normal.  And, God help me, they have ASKED FOR ELFIE TO RETURN this year..... I just don't know what I'm going to do.  Because *I* am traumatized."

Despite the tales of dread, and possibly against my better judgment, I think I might still give it a try.  But, at least now my friend has given me a good out if Bianca is creeped out by the Elf.  Come on, flu season!


  1. LOL - you need Elf Magic - cuter-

    like a rag doll. No creepy elf

  2. We have one. So far my kids are not phased by him at all. I snuck him in my 7 year-old's overnight bag to his dad's though, we'll see how that goes. >;)