Thursday, June 18, 2009


Hello and welcome to my newest blog. I have another but it's a different topic and there are so many times I find I want to discuss motherhood issues. More importantly, I'm hoping to connect with other single Moms through this blog for shared experiences. Let's face it....if you've not walked in our shoes, you have no idea what it's all about.
So here's our story in a nutshell: I was dating this guy who seemed so great. He said he wanted all the same things I did....marriage, family, home. When I ended up unexpectedly pregnant, he responded to the news by saying "Oh Shit." Not really a good indicator. He never saw me again (until much later in court) and said he'd help pay for a termination but, other than that, had nothing to offer to me or a child. Through the pregnancy we did stay in loose contact and worked out an amicable agreement for child support. After my daughter was born, he basically avoided me at every turn. When I'd manage to track him down at work, he always had an apology and a sob story. When DD was 7 months old, I did an internet search and turned up some contact information I'd not previously seen. So I called a phone number and, lo and behold, his WIFE answered. She and I had a most interesting conversation. Turns out he has a few other kids. I never knew. After that, I hauled him to court and stopped trying to deal with him directly. He saw our daughter one time in a court appearance but other than that has never spent one second with her. She is almost 5 years old now.
Now, that would be enough for any Mom to have to explain. But...enter "great guy" #2. Boy, I have crappy character judgment skills. When DD was 2 months old, I started dating someone. We were planning to get married. She started calling him Daddy just instinctively, I guess. He said he wanted her to call him that since he planned to be in our lives and be her father figure. So I bought a home right down the road from where he lives. It was to be the start of our living together. Well, the week of the closing, he decided it was all too much for him to handle and we broke up after 2 1/2 years together. Although my DD hasn't seen or spoke to him since, she still remembers him and talks about him all the time. So not only do I have to explain why "Daddy" is no longer around, but I am also explaining that Daddy & father are not always the same thing.
With Fathers Day coming up next week, I'm stressing a bit. I do the best I can to answer her questions and give her age appropriate information but it's really difficult. I've scoured the web for books, articles, support sites, anything. I did find the NOSM which led me to some great blogs and, hence, the idea of starting my own Mom blog was born. I hope to make some buddies along this journey.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for visiting over at my blog :) Its being able to provide age appropriate information thats the tough one... or finding an answer that stops there questions for that moment in time! It is quite surprising that there is not a lot of literature, or not a lot of literature that is very helpful, for these sort of situations.